i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
