i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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