Will you blow on my dice?
only if we run a train.
done.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
