Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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