Pappa wants mamma naked
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
