Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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