Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
