This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
