I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
