just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
