It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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