What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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