I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
