I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
