I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
