Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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