Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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