How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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