Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
