It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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