Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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