eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
