I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
