I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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