i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
