She is in my trunk
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think my vagina is haunted
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
