but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
