peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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