Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
