I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
