New invention idea: vibrating tampons
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
did i just pee glitter
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
