I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
