she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
