he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
