Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
