I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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