I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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