Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
