i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
