Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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