franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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