Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
