is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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