NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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