you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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