dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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