I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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