so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
