Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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