it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
