in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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